Eating Junk

194.8 this morning, exactly the same as Thursday which is down point two pounds for the week. And while at first I was irritated, in thinking back over some of my choices this weekend I should be relieved I haven't gained. Notice I didn't say 'food' choices, because these mostly cannot be called food; cheetos (of course) a snickers bar, a soda (not diet) tortilla chips, beer, cookies, fried potatoes (full on greasy restaurant variety)blue cheese dressing, refried beans (again, full on greasy restaurant variety) and the vanilla shake and curly fries that I had with my chicken sandwich yesterday. OMG - I should have gained five pounds! I should be heavier just from the water weight I'm holding this morning from eating the salty salty fast food yesterday on the way home in the car. So I'll take this morning's number and be grateful.

And I'm smaller in my chest - only 1/2" but I can see that the one roll of fat left on my back is noticeably smaller than the last time I looked. Everything else was the same despite being so bloated this morning. So while I'm not shouting my results from the rooftops, my sigh of relief is probably being recorded as high winds over in the next county.

So still a stress eater. And I will admit that since starting Core4 I have let my other resources slip - I can't remember the last time I practiced meditating, or did my breathing exercises (oops, yes I can, up at the Cal Cup competition 3 weeks ago.) So that's my bad and I will get back to the mental exercises this week. This journey to wellness is not just about what passes in over my lips. {Om namah shivaya Quoted from the site, "A very rough, non-literal translation could be something like, 'Om and salutations to that which I am capable of becoming.' This mantra will start one out on the path of subtle development of spiritual attainments." OR as Liz Gilbert translates in her book that I so love, Eat Pray Love, "I honor the divinity that dwells within", and this is how I personally intend the Mantra.}

All in all it was easy to use Core4 while traveling, whether eating fast food in the car or sitting down with family at a restaurant. And I think it really did a great job of mitigating the damage I might have done weight-wise on the trip; normally this kind of trip would have meant an upward swing on my weight chart and the head games would have begun. But now I can just keep going forward and know I will see a loss this next week without having gone backwards.

Glad to be home this morning, excited it is the last week to practice before Nationals and incredulous that August is almost here all at the same time. This week is all about the archery!!

Later in the day: The shorts I grabbed to wear this morning were shorter than I am use to wearing, but it was fun to fit into a pair that haven't fit in a long time. While I wouldn't wear them out, they were fine for visiting with the baby and housework. And they gave me a view of my legs I hadn't seen in a while - muscles! I could see the outline of muscles under the fat of my thighs! I felt more like I was looking into Alice's mirror and seeing an alternate me it was so unreal a feeling. And I can now imagine my legs sans cellulite, it's disappearing and the legs I use to run sprints with are reemerging. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I have been afraid of losing weight now that I am in my 50's because while I don't think I will be baggy and saggy, what if I am? I am now officially no longer worried about that, I can see myself firming up, my skin shrinking with the rest of me. Wonderful, wonderful ♥