A long day

Yesterday afternoon was awful; at the receiving end of an undeserved emotional comfrontation comprised of swearing and threatening and posturing by young men of questionable integrity against me and my family I was stunned into first shock, then anger, and then the undeniable quest for drink and food. There was no denying me my french fries as I made sure my black bean burger was NOT going to come with 'seasonal vegetables'. I did pause long enough to sprinkle Cheat on the burger that I had ordered sans cheese, so that has obviously become a habit, and I was stuffed after the french fries and half the burger so I took the second half home for later (which turned out to be midnight last night instead of lunch today, but oh well.)

So this morning I was feeling fat from water retention (restaurant fries = mucho salt) and imbued with an uncomfortable sense of unease - the aftermath of yesterday's emotional encounter - and not at all hungry. At noon I finally drank the smoothie that had been intended for last nights dinner, and took 2 Accelerate instead of the 1 I normally take, anticipating a late evening helping to celebrate my daughter's birthday (keeping in mind that 8pm is late for me.) Sitting here bathed and ready to dress for the evening out I thought about my day; laundry caught up, dishes done, dog walked, car washed, library CD's exchanged, a new book being imported, blouse ironed, driveway swept, 6 ends of arrows (30) shot, roses watered. Not to mention all the farming on Farm Town and Farmville in between all the aforesaid chores.

In the not so distant past I wouldn't have been able to accomplish all of that in a week let alone a day, and there is still the cake to pick up, dinner to go to, and more farming when I get home this evening. Yet I know for all my energy and endurance now, I will probably sleep very sound when I finally lay down in bed and stretch out with relief at the end of this long day - I am so glad the Accelerate does not keep me from my slumbers.

I guess I am still working out emotions from yesterday, I have always turned to work when upset about something and I'm guessing that is not a bad thing; better than fighting or drinking! But back to the salt, I am feeling fat which prompted a look in the mirror and an assessment of how I am doing. And while I can tell I am not as heavy as I was, I can also see that I have a ways to go, so decided to focus on a couple of small positives. The wobble under my arms is now a more minor jiggle, the rolls on my back are down to one bump, and I am getting close to being able to hold my stomach in again; yay me, yay Core4!

Finally hungry again I threw together some home made almond milk with a scoop of Lean and some frozen spinach nuggets to tide me over till dinner. And I'm heading out with a positive attitude, putting my little packet of cheat in my jeans pocket so it's easy to find at dinner. I might even take 2, one for dinner and one for cake!