It's been a week of comfort food as September tends to be a stressful month for me, but I used my Core4 consistently except for one day and I am ready to move on. Despite pizza, macaroni & cheese, cookies and ice cream, pasta and even a corned beef & fontina cheese panini I am only 1.5 pounds heavier than my lowest number and I am sure that by using the Core4 ignite program that will be gone this weekend and then some. More detrimental than all of the comfort food I indulged in over the past week, it is probably the amount of time I have spent in front of the computer and my lack of movement that has contributed to the gain. Even though I have been taking my half hour walk most days, just skipping one day last week, that doesn't compensate for 8 hours of facebook farming each day. Grief is a long and strange road but I am working through it!
So this week I am following the ignite program using the Core4 products; basically I am using the Lean shake more often as a meal replacement, and watching my calories. It's a nine day program and I'll finish up while away from home, which is no biggie since I know how easy it is to use 'on the road.'
I'm heading down to Southern California on Friday and staying with my Mom a week after her hip surgery. While I am there I'm attending a Core4 Seminar in Carlsbad at CNI headquarters and meeting up with some team members & friends while there, so it's going to be a busy week of planning and traveling. I plan on making lots of healthy dishes for my Mom and leaving her a freezer full of soups before heading home, so that will be good for me staying focused on nutrition. She also lives on that hill that I have journaled about before so I know I will be getting a work out each day along with my little dog Kaylee; can't leave for a week and not take her!
And the good news is that Mom is upgrading her internet connection so I will be able to post from down there and stay in touch with my support group.
Off to the showers, that Accelerate really makes the sweat pour out after exercising; it's a great feeling to know my body is working to flush out impurities and burn calories. AND I wore skinnier walking pants this morning :)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Sports & Nutrition
This morning's green smoothie is all about the pineapple. We are leaving for another weekend of archery and I like to use up anything I can out of the fridge before taking off for a couple of days. There was some left over pineapple I had cut up for last weekend's bbq and I knew it wasn't going to last so I threw it in my morning smoothie and it's so very yummy. Somehow citrus and the Lean really compliment each other, I had noticed that with the orange (as has anyone who has made a 50/50 shake with orange juice and some kind of milk -in my case a nut milk- with the Lean) but I am finding that it's also true for lemon, grapefruit and now pineapple.
In addition to breakfast I made two more green smoothies to take with me so that I would have a nutritious breakfast each day before shooting. It makes such a difference in my energy and performance when I drink my breakfast before a competition. For this weekend I blended up frozen spinach, flax meal, fresh kiwi (including the nutrient rich skins)and used up the left over home made lemonade. So a little sweeter than usual (I used raw sugar in the lemonade) and full of micro nutrients. I have noticed a difference in my energy & stamina blending in the Lean to my green smoothies; I stay fuller longer and my energy is more stable too.
Thinking about the Lean, I love that they have micro filtered out the harmful casein from the whey and that the serving of Lean is only 10g of protein. There are too many studies showing the link between high protein and disease for me to discount them, and I want to keep my calories from protein to between five and ten percent of my total intake so I am glad the Lean doesn't overdo it like most shake supplements out there.
So for me planning ahead to do the best I can at the archery tournament means pre-blending my green smoothies with Lean to have ready for breakfast both mornings, taking filtered water to keep hydrated all day, and having my bottle of Cheat in my purse for when we go out to dinner. I am happy to say that we are going to Fat's one night and they have a Southwestern Vegetable Wrap on their menu, I hope it's good!
In addition to breakfast I made two more green smoothies to take with me so that I would have a nutritious breakfast each day before shooting. It makes such a difference in my energy and performance when I drink my breakfast before a competition. For this weekend I blended up frozen spinach, flax meal, fresh kiwi (including the nutrient rich skins)and used up the left over home made lemonade. So a little sweeter than usual (I used raw sugar in the lemonade) and full of micro nutrients. I have noticed a difference in my energy & stamina blending in the Lean to my green smoothies; I stay fuller longer and my energy is more stable too.
Thinking about the Lean, I love that they have micro filtered out the harmful casein from the whey and that the serving of Lean is only 10g of protein. There are too many studies showing the link between high protein and disease for me to discount them, and I want to keep my calories from protein to between five and ten percent of my total intake so I am glad the Lean doesn't overdo it like most shake supplements out there.
So for me planning ahead to do the best I can at the archery tournament means pre-blending my green smoothies with Lean to have ready for breakfast both mornings, taking filtered water to keep hydrated all day, and having my bottle of Cheat in my purse for when we go out to dinner. I am happy to say that we are going to Fat's one night and they have a Southwestern Vegetable Wrap on their menu, I hope it's good!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Self Sabotage
Anyone, or most anyone, who has ever 'tried to lose weight' knows what self sabotage means. It's the dirty little reality I deal with all the time, the small but darkly potent part of my self that is afraid to succeed. It's the 2nd in command who issues orders to pull into 7-11 for a bag of Cheetos, or to drive through for some french fries. There are lots of times I can think ahead to how this will make me feel and put the kibash on whatever tiny dark thought has assailed me, but sometimes I mentally throw in the towel and obey orders. The reality is that there is a power to giving in, to surrendering to the impulse and feed the destructive force that has begun to rage. A big huge power surge comes with thinking "what the heck" and then sure to follow that thought are the ones that justify my actions. The self pity, the falsehood that this one indulgence won't matter; in other words, the lies.
I have spent a lot of time reading and listening to the words of others that stress the importance of accepting each moment as the most important one. That the only thing we have here on earth are our feelings and that each one does matter, and that it is up to us to make sure that they are good feelings. Truly that is at the crux of the idea, 'creating heaven or hell on earth'. I believe that it is true what I hear, that if we can't control our thoughts, well then, what can we control? And so I waste energy being mad at myself because I can't seem to 'master my compulsions'? Talk about a negative circle, yuck. How and why this happens is a whole different dissertation, just now I am focused on the act itself and how I am going to work harder this month to fight the good fight and make better decisions.
All of this is being said of course directly after eating a luscious big salad that would have been wonderfully healthy if I hadn't thrown in a big spoonful of vegenaise at the end because it wasn't rich enough. I think it was actually the salt I was craving, and it would have been better to have thrown in some diced cilantro or even a little kosher sea salt. But no, I take the comfort route of adding salt AND fat. I want to blame it on the cauliflower - dipping raw cauliflower into mayonnaise was a favorite growing up and there was lots of it diced up in the salad. But I can't blame a vegetable, it was all me.
Yes I sprinkled on my Cheat, and yes there were lots of micro nutrients in the salad. So why am I upset with myself? Because Cheat is a tool, not an excuse to slip back into bad eating habits. I had a conversation with a friend recently and found myself saying, "I wish I had kept track of how many calories I wasted on potato chips this past month." I know we are not suppose to 'diet', but really, a little self control would be nice. Which brings me back to the point, mastering my compulsions. Just because I have these great tools to use, doesn't mean I can go hog wild eating crap. So for the rest of September I am going to keep eating healthy, say no more often to the dark side, and use the Core4 eating program as a set of healthy tools instead of as saviors from bad decisions.
I have spent a lot of time reading and listening to the words of others that stress the importance of accepting each moment as the most important one. That the only thing we have here on earth are our feelings and that each one does matter, and that it is up to us to make sure that they are good feelings. Truly that is at the crux of the idea, 'creating heaven or hell on earth'. I believe that it is true what I hear, that if we can't control our thoughts, well then, what can we control? And so I waste energy being mad at myself because I can't seem to 'master my compulsions'? Talk about a negative circle, yuck. How and why this happens is a whole different dissertation, just now I am focused on the act itself and how I am going to work harder this month to fight the good fight and make better decisions.
All of this is being said of course directly after eating a luscious big salad that would have been wonderfully healthy if I hadn't thrown in a big spoonful of vegenaise at the end because it wasn't rich enough. I think it was actually the salt I was craving, and it would have been better to have thrown in some diced cilantro or even a little kosher sea salt. But no, I take the comfort route of adding salt AND fat. I want to blame it on the cauliflower - dipping raw cauliflower into mayonnaise was a favorite growing up and there was lots of it diced up in the salad. But I can't blame a vegetable, it was all me.
Yes I sprinkled on my Cheat, and yes there were lots of micro nutrients in the salad. So why am I upset with myself? Because Cheat is a tool, not an excuse to slip back into bad eating habits. I had a conversation with a friend recently and found myself saying, "I wish I had kept track of how many calories I wasted on potato chips this past month." I know we are not suppose to 'diet', but really, a little self control would be nice. Which brings me back to the point, mastering my compulsions. Just because I have these great tools to use, doesn't mean I can go hog wild eating crap. So for the rest of September I am going to keep eating healthy, say no more often to the dark side, and use the Core4 eating program as a set of healthy tools instead of as saviors from bad decisions.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
3 Months on Core4
The time is flying by and it's hard to believe it's been 3 months since I first started using the Core4 weight loss program. I was a little disappointed this morning seeing that I had only lost another half inch on both my waist and hips, but my Honey made it better by saying that I looked smaller as we headed into the living room to take the pictures (which I still hate but feel compelled to do.) So total inches lost is now 19! My lowest weight was 192.2 (down from 198.6) so almost six and a half pounds - not very impressive if I just look at the number, but there is so much more to the story. How solid my muscles are, the definition of my arms - the wobble is almost gone from my biceps - and the endurance I am noticing on my daily walks. Now when I walk I make sure I get up to a heart pumping pace for most of it, holding my stomach in and breathing hard, instead of just taking a walk with the dog.
I also need to add that this past month was very different for me in that I was no longer in 'training' mode with my archery and succumbed to the addictive lure of Farm Town on Facebook, so my behind was planted in a chair for many more hours than I would like to admit and yet I still lost another inch and a pound.
So I am once again headed into another month of Core4, and this time I am counting on it to get me through what has typically been a hard month for me these past few years since losing my son. If I need comfort food I will use my Cheat, if I feel like retreating to the couch I will take my Accelerate, and I will start my days with the Lean in a green smoothie so that I at least get off to a good start each morning. I will not gain back weight this month! Core4 is going to make the difference, I just know it.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Happy Labor Day!
I had my usual green smoothie for breakfast, then started in on chopping up ingredients for the salad I'm serving with dinner - we are probably 'bbqing' with the neighbors later. In the meantime we headed out to lunch, and I wore some blue jean shorts that were too tight a month ago. I could put them on, but not really do more than strut around with my stomach held in tight. Today I wore them sitting through lunch (veggie enchiladas with Cheat at a restaurant) and now I am still wearing them sitting at the computer and in no rush to change into stretchy shorts! Whoo hoo. I guess I've written that little expression of triumph more than once in the last few months, but hey, it's how I feel! The shorts are still a bit tight, but I can now sit and breathe at the same time.
I made a wonderful macaroni salad this morning using brown rice noodles (gluten free) and loaded it up with finely diced kale, jalapeno stuffed green olives, diced sun dried tomatoes, diced red peppers, green onions and cauliflower. The dressing is Vegenaise with celery seed and vinegar and lots of pepper. Oh, and some diced cilantro for a burst of freshness - I like using that much better than parsley.
I'm off to cut up a fresh pineapple and enjoy family for dinner. And yes, I will use Cheat on my macaroni salad :) (picture to follow)
I made a wonderful macaroni salad this morning using brown rice noodles (gluten free) and loaded it up with finely diced kale, jalapeno stuffed green olives, diced sun dried tomatoes, diced red peppers, green onions and cauliflower. The dressing is Vegenaise with celery seed and vinegar and lots of pepper. Oh, and some diced cilantro for a burst of freshness - I like using that much better than parsley.
I'm off to cut up a fresh pineapple and enjoy family for dinner. And yes, I will use Cheat on my macaroni salad :) (picture to follow)
Sunday, September 6, 2009
My Grandpa's Ring
I was sitting turning the rings on my fingers, a habit when I sit and wait for something. And I realized this morning that my 'totem pole' ring could also be turned easily, which hasn't been the case for many years. Upon closer inspection I noticed that my finger no longer bulges around the ring, and the thought came that I might actually be able to take the ring off eventually.
I was 17 years old when my grandmother gave me this ring. It is silver, 1/4" wide, engraved with a small totem pole, the faces worn to almost nothing from almost 38 years of constant polishing on my finger. It had been my grandfathers, and one day when my grandmother and I were perusing her jewelry box after our afternoon of Canasta I admired it. She had saved it when Grandpa died, but now gave it to me; I think she appreciated my trips over after school to spend time with her, and now looking back I can see why. I have loved this ring since first seeing it, and it has seen me through many a strange escapade over the years. I think it's been about a dozen years or so that I haven't been able to take it off, and probably ten since I even tried. I remember thinking once that I couldn't stand how tight it was and the notion crossed my mind that I should have it cut off, but I couldn't do that to my Grandpa's ring.
I am so thankful that it is now loose, spinning freely on my finger, and the day I can actually take it off will be a day worthy of noting as momentous in my small quiet life :) Because somewhere along the way I think I had actually begun to believe that I was incapable of losing weight, that there was something wrong with me that kept me fat and miserable. Maybe even that this was something I was suppose to learn from, or that I was being punished for some past sins. Crazy thoughts of a mad fat woman! But those thoughts felt very real at the time, and now that I am getting smaller they have been chased away. I am still a little impatient, it's not happening as fast for me as for some of my friends, but the point is that it IS happening :) And I will be small enough to take this ring off and polish it properly before slipping it back on, I have every confidence.
I was 17 years old when my grandmother gave me this ring. It is silver, 1/4" wide, engraved with a small totem pole, the faces worn to almost nothing from almost 38 years of constant polishing on my finger. It had been my grandfathers, and one day when my grandmother and I were perusing her jewelry box after our afternoon of Canasta I admired it. She had saved it when Grandpa died, but now gave it to me; I think she appreciated my trips over after school to spend time with her, and now looking back I can see why. I have loved this ring since first seeing it, and it has seen me through many a strange escapade over the years. I think it's been about a dozen years or so that I haven't been able to take it off, and probably ten since I even tried. I remember thinking once that I couldn't stand how tight it was and the notion crossed my mind that I should have it cut off, but I couldn't do that to my Grandpa's ring.
I am so thankful that it is now loose, spinning freely on my finger, and the day I can actually take it off will be a day worthy of noting as momentous in my small quiet life :) Because somewhere along the way I think I had actually begun to believe that I was incapable of losing weight, that there was something wrong with me that kept me fat and miserable. Maybe even that this was something I was suppose to learn from, or that I was being punished for some past sins. Crazy thoughts of a mad fat woman! But those thoughts felt very real at the time, and now that I am getting smaller they have been chased away. I am still a little impatient, it's not happening as fast for me as for some of my friends, but the point is that it IS happening :) And I will be small enough to take this ring off and polish it properly before slipping it back on, I have every confidence.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
A long day
Yesterday afternoon was awful; at the receiving end of an undeserved emotional comfrontation comprised of swearing and threatening and posturing by young men of questionable integrity against me and my family I was stunned into first shock, then anger, and then the undeniable quest for drink and food. There was no denying me my french fries as I made sure my black bean burger was NOT going to come with 'seasonal vegetables'. I did pause long enough to sprinkle Cheat on the burger that I had ordered sans cheese, so that has obviously become a habit, and I was stuffed after the french fries and half the burger so I took the second half home for later (which turned out to be midnight last night instead of lunch today, but oh well.)
So this morning I was feeling fat from water retention (restaurant fries = mucho salt) and imbued with an uncomfortable sense of unease - the aftermath of yesterday's emotional encounter - and not at all hungry. At noon I finally drank the smoothie that had been intended for last nights dinner, and took 2 Accelerate instead of the 1 I normally take, anticipating a late evening helping to celebrate my daughter's birthday (keeping in mind that 8pm is late for me.) Sitting here bathed and ready to dress for the evening out I thought about my day; laundry caught up, dishes done, dog walked, car washed, library CD's exchanged, a new book being imported, blouse ironed, driveway swept, 6 ends of arrows (30) shot, roses watered. Not to mention all the farming on Farm Town and Farmville in between all the aforesaid chores.
In the not so distant past I wouldn't have been able to accomplish all of that in a week let alone a day, and there is still the cake to pick up, dinner to go to, and more farming when I get home this evening. Yet I know for all my energy and endurance now, I will probably sleep very sound when I finally lay down in bed and stretch out with relief at the end of this long day - I am so glad the Accelerate does not keep me from my slumbers.
I guess I am still working out emotions from yesterday, I have always turned to work when upset about something and I'm guessing that is not a bad thing; better than fighting or drinking! But back to the salt, I am feeling fat which prompted a look in the mirror and an assessment of how I am doing. And while I can tell I am not as heavy as I was, I can also see that I have a ways to go, so decided to focus on a couple of small positives. The wobble under my arms is now a more minor jiggle, the rolls on my back are down to one bump, and I am getting close to being able to hold my stomach in again; yay me, yay Core4!
Finally hungry again I threw together some home made almond milk with a scoop of Lean and some frozen spinach nuggets to tide me over till dinner. And I'm heading out with a positive attitude, putting my little packet of cheat in my jeans pocket so it's easy to find at dinner. I might even take 2, one for dinner and one for cake!
So this morning I was feeling fat from water retention (restaurant fries = mucho salt) and imbued with an uncomfortable sense of unease - the aftermath of yesterday's emotional encounter - and not at all hungry. At noon I finally drank the smoothie that had been intended for last nights dinner, and took 2 Accelerate instead of the 1 I normally take, anticipating a late evening helping to celebrate my daughter's birthday (keeping in mind that 8pm is late for me.) Sitting here bathed and ready to dress for the evening out I thought about my day; laundry caught up, dishes done, dog walked, car washed, library CD's exchanged, a new book being imported, blouse ironed, driveway swept, 6 ends of arrows (30) shot, roses watered. Not to mention all the farming on Farm Town and Farmville in between all the aforesaid chores.
In the not so distant past I wouldn't have been able to accomplish all of that in a week let alone a day, and there is still the cake to pick up, dinner to go to, and more farming when I get home this evening. Yet I know for all my energy and endurance now, I will probably sleep very sound when I finally lay down in bed and stretch out with relief at the end of this long day - I am so glad the Accelerate does not keep me from my slumbers.
I guess I am still working out emotions from yesterday, I have always turned to work when upset about something and I'm guessing that is not a bad thing; better than fighting or drinking! But back to the salt, I am feeling fat which prompted a look in the mirror and an assessment of how I am doing. And while I can tell I am not as heavy as I was, I can also see that I have a ways to go, so decided to focus on a couple of small positives. The wobble under my arms is now a more minor jiggle, the rolls on my back are down to one bump, and I am getting close to being able to hold my stomach in again; yay me, yay Core4!
Finally hungry again I threw together some home made almond milk with a scoop of Lean and some frozen spinach nuggets to tide me over till dinner. And I'm heading out with a positive attitude, putting my little packet of cheat in my jeans pocket so it's easy to find at dinner. I might even take 2, one for dinner and one for cake!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Pancakes without stress
192.2 :: Another half pound gone, and I can see that my silhouette is getting slimmer! I use to stress that I always wanted to celebrate a loss with pancakes, my reward, but now with the Cheat it's just another meal. I know that I am going shopping for greens today, and that I will get in a bunch of nutrition at lunch and dinner; that those pancakes were just today's 10% that I get to indulge in something that is not necessarily nutritional. Adding the Cheat eliminates 25% of this morning's empty calories, wrapping them up in a fiber gel and swooshing them through my body without being absorbed. How cool is that! So no, using the Cheat does not give me license to stop caring about what I eat, but it does add the fun back into my silly choices when I want to take a step off of my nutritional band wagon.
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